Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, intelligent, caring, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But unfortunately the law allows only one wife.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

One woman’s hobby is another woman’s hubby.

It’s what people don’t know about each other that makes them such good friends.

If you can’t get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Marriage is like a cage; those outside are desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher… and that is a good thing for any man.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence – A Life Sentence!!

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy

Marriage is Love, Love is blind, therefore, marriage is an institution for the Blind