Need of the hour: Confidence

In spite of regular medication, wheezing doesn’t seem to go away. It takes me almost an hour in the morning to get back on my feet. This also means, no exercises – with frequent wheezing, my nerves are so weak.

With the addiction to exercise, this means that, I don’t feel good – first because of feeling sick and second of not doing the exercise.

This in turn means that I am starting the day in a wrong note!

At office, I am loaded with work – Handling Finance System, CRM System, Upgrade of Finance System and getting ready for SOX audit. First I wasn’t very particular about the SOX audit, but overtime, as I realized the impact of non-compliance, I am now very scared (if we fail SOX audit the company will be de-listed from NASDAQ and CEO/CFO will end up in jail). Every morning, I ask myself, if I’m doing the right thing and also if I’m doing it right.

So physical and official is no good.

As I said in an earlier post, I took a drive to beat the banality. Well, as much as the trip was fun, the photos that I took were all washed out. I am upset that I screwed up. I wanted some of the shots to be ‘given-my-best’. When I took the photos, I did; but it turned out that I am not a good photographer!

Without a steady and strong friendship (face-to-face; not long distance), I am not getting the miserable feelings out of me. I should accept though I get regular mails from KD & LA. Even Xavier called me and was on phone for about an hour. As much as I appreciate all of this, I still feel a loner!

So to sum up:
Personal: Not good
Physical: Not good
Official: Not good
Emotional: Not good

Which means, my confidence is the lowest in the past 2 years (I’ve hit rock bottom earlier, but the situations were very different then. I managed to get back on my feet 2 years back; but oops, I screwed up!)

But there is one thing that is going good; damn good – spiritual. I’m getting very much a spiritual person: I’m not discriminating any spirits – Vodka, Tequilla, Rum, Brandy or whatever.

What Jesus can’t heal in the day, a peg of Whisky heals in the night!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *