A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time. – Alfred E. Wiggam

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. – Woody Allen

We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. – Nick Faldo

There are two kinds of light–the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures. – James Thurber

The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them. – Albert Einstein

In heaven all the interesting people are missing. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. – Bertrand Russell

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. – Mark Twain

Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places. – E. Joseph Crossman

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. – John Barrymore

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. – Baltasar Gracian

Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first. – Peter Ustinov

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience. – Shelley Winters

The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way. – Bertrand Russell