Category Archives: Life is like that

it worsens

am sitting in the office with the back pain becoming unbearable. i’m almost in tears. i am not able to walk. i hope to get home in single piece and recover.

my (self) confidence is at lowest point now. i hope to recover that too.

Update: subsequently i went to the doc and she says either this is a simple nerve disorder or early stages of spondylitis. Hmm…hope it is not the later. she has given medication. probably wat i need is bed rest. but it takes a lot of effort just to lie down and even to turn to one side. it is excruciatingly painful. i normally dont prefer to weep; but i culdn’t bear the pain.

another update: The night was insanely painful – to start with i culdn’t lie down; it abt 10 min to lie down; then i culdn’t turn any direction; slowly i managed to position myself well; but i culdn’t sleep until well over midnight; i kept waking up with nightmares of being in a wheelchair or something like that. after couple of painkillers, now i feel little ok; i am doing some stretching exercises to get back to normal.

Jesus to a child

The moments that I spent in ‘Cheese Cake Factory’ near the theater is still so vivid with me. And this song was playing most of the time. This is one of the best songs of George Michael. So what he was a gay? The words in this song captures every emotion that one goes through after a loss. And the video goes well too.

As I go through pain, I keep listening to this time and again. Some of the words are eternal.

And what have I learned
From all these tears
I’ve waited for you all those years
And just when it began
He took your love away
But I still say

When you find love
When you know that it exists
Then the lover that you miss
Will come to you
On those cold, cold nights

When you’ve been loved
When you know it holds such bliss
Then the lover that you kissed
Will comfort you
When there’s no hope in sight

Well, I’ve been loved
So I know just what love is
And the lover that I kissed
Is always by my side

Oh the lover I still miss
Was Jesus to a child

Back home

It was an interesting day today.

I had breakfast with Sastry who was my PM in the earlier PM. As I’ve always mentioned, I spent less than 2 weeks working with him. But whatever project management that I know is that I learnt from him. He is an amazing person. He is now heading a firm which advices govts on eGovernance and technology issues. I had a fabulous time (though it was just 30 min) talking to him about so many things. I meet him after about a decade.

Then I left to Film City. It is the largest film studio in the world. But I’m not impressed. The quality of the rides and the other programs are no way nearer to other studios that I’ve been – Universal and Disneyland. But it is a good start.

On the way back to the guest house, I went to the old Hydrabad. Man, it was a horrible traffic. If you thought Bangalore has traffic problem, visit old HYD.

I managed to get the flight on time. And I’m telling you, it is a small world. Recently I contacted a small time vendor for making eLearning contents for us. And guess who was sitting next to me! Of course it was him. We had an interesting conversation through the flight. He said the same thing that few people have told me – I am way too mature for my age; I talk like an old man! Interestingly he also said that I look like an athlete. May be he said it just for the business sake or may be he meant it!

It has been hell of travel lately – driving for 10 hours to Tuticorin, and then to Chennai and now to Hydrabad.

It is good to be home enjoying a movie – Die Hard – in solitude.

Update: Photos are uploaded in Flickr.

Had a fruitful day

We had a hitch in the morning: our flight was delayed in Bangalore because of traffic (yes, believe me) and then when we flew in here, again we were delayed because there was no parking space (again, please believe me).

We were supposed to reach office by 10 but we reached only by 11.25. And in another 5 min we started the meeting.

We had two sessions and they were fantastic. We (my chief & I) are very much satisfied.

He left and I am staying back for one more day.

With all that is going on, I, honestly don’t want to come back!

On to HYD

I’m on my first corporate visit in this firm. I kind of avoided it so far, as the facilities on employee travel are not so great here. But the new chief expects me to play a greater role and hence he wants me to accompany him on corporate visits to other centers. So here is the first one. We are just initiating such visits so that we get feedback from users about the applications that we have rolled out.

It is a bittersweet irony that on one side life seems to be very disturbing and on the other it just rocks.

Its a spin

I am struggling to come to terms with the ‘brutal-facts-of-reality’. I know unless I face them and deal with them, I am going to have such occurrences time and again. Facing them is not pleasant; but I got to. I hope to discipline myself to face them.

Coming weeks are going to be tough.

I feel very alive

I don’t know if it has to do with ‘Bittersweet’, but today has been fantastic as well.

I told you already that I drove for about 6 hours. When I reached home, I was bit tired and took rest for an hour. Then enjoyed reading and finishing the book. With so much of enthu, I cleaned the car. I was tired by then, but some more energy was still left. I swept and moped the house. In the mean time, I washed clothes as well. By then it was already 7 and I realized there is no food left at home. So I went grocery shopping. Even I am surprised at all the work that I did. This is the closest that I felt being in Belgium; I used to do all of this when I was there, but somehow I didn’t do it here.

I also posted the photos in flickr. You can see the photos here.

Back from magical weekend

Yes, it was a fantastic weekend that I had. I drove to Chennai on Saturday morning. It was a pleasant drive. I arrived at the resort at about 11.

Since the check-in is only at 13h00, I had lunch and then went to the beach. It was a relaxing time, as always, just listening to the waves and feeling the beach sand.

Initially I had planned to go to the wedding, which was at 8.30 Sunday morning. But then I decided to take the whole day of Sunday, so I went to the reception on Saturday night. I had thought it would be difficult to drive after 6 hours of drive in the morning. But it wasn’t. Probably because it was for AKA or I was looking forward for Sunday. Anyway, it wasn’t an eventful evening. I expected to see couple of old folks from my earlier firm, but only 3 turned up and I know only one. But then I went right on the start and stayed there about 30 min, so it is a possibility that I missed most of the folks.

This is probably the 4-5th wedding that I attend of my colleagues. I wouldn’t have driven this far if for anyone else. AKA was a great team mate and was a great support when I was going through a terrible time. I would be a thankless asshole, if I didn’t go to her wedding, being in India.

Then came Sunday. I wanted to watch the sunrise and freeze on my camera. But for one, it was cloudy and another I slept through ( 😉 ). I woke up at around 7.30 and went to have breakfast. Time and again, I am amazed by the quality of food at this resort. It is just fantastic.

After breakfast, I went to the beach. There was a decent amount of crowd this time and an active crowd as well. Some were doing horse-riding and there was one another French guy doing fishing (yes, with the fishing rod, it is really hard to see that here) and then another German guy was with a huge kite. It was a pleasant feeling; for a moment I felt I was not in India.

Another factor added to this feeling – I was reading an excellent book by Danielle Steel named ‘Bittersweet’. If you get a chance to read it, don’t miss. I could relate to each of the character in someway and it was a mesmerizing to read page by page. I haven’t yet finished, so don’t how it all ends.

Then in the evening, I took a drive to Mahabs. Nothing particular, but just a drive and few clicks here and there.

After another good dinner, I went to bed very satisfied. May be a little romance could’ve been better. But unlike the resort, life is not ideal!

Today morning, I was on the car by 5.15 and drove back home. I lost an hour in the first 70 kms, but then I kept about 120 kmh speed until Krishnagiri. Near Krishnagiri, I witnessed an accident – the car in front of me hit a young fellow on the cycle. It was a hit-and-run. I stopped the car; I couldn’t just drive. Fortunately, nothing worse happened to the kid.

Though I kept a decent speed after that, I was not able to digest the fact some bloody idiot would do that. I didn’t even have breakfast (normally I have in Krishnagiri, but that shop was dismantled).

Except that incident, the weekend was just magical. I loved it; enjoyed it; and planning to go back again sometime.

I have shot few photos and would post them once all of them are transferred.