To avoid loneliness over the weekend, I came to Bangalore. We went shopping for the upcoming baptism for Dharsika. As we’re a growing family, it took us half day to shop for all except Mady & parents. (for Mady it will take half day 🙂 ).

Later in the evening, there was a short-circuit at the base of the apartment which led to a minor fire. The whole family was out in the streets without even taking mobile or bottle of water (that Rani managed to grab her purse amidst the chaos is on one side funny and another very thoughtful).

We could return to our homes after an hour but there was no electricity for the entire block of apartments. We played scrabble in the candle light. And I had ‘candle-light-dinner’.

There is no electricity even today – Sunday. Most probably it will only be supplied tomorrow.

Time to time this topic either crosses my mind or comes up discussion. I want to bring up Piyo & Jerry in a well disciplined manner. At the same time to beat them for every thing seem little far stretched a concept on bringing kids up. I think there should be logic that he can understand about the punishment – I did this so dad did that; I failed to do that so dad did that, or something similar.

Arbitrary punishments alienate kids from patents & siblings, which is an undesirable side effect.

I started this blog more than 8 years ago. I had just then returned back from Belgium and was typing the same reply to “what’s up man?” The blog post appeared then were my answers to that oft asked question.

Those questions tapered off, quicker than I thought. I continued to capture the mundane and the enthusiastic days. Readers varied and almost stopped. All who read became busy with their own kids and life.

Because of the limited to non-existent readers, this serves as a journal or diary so to speak.

Of late I have captured joys, dilemmas and frustrations of parenting. I am doing so to give to Piyo & Jerry, what I myself don’t have.

The parenting agony that my parents went through is unknown to me. In fact I was indifferent to the pain of parenting that they would’ve endured until I got my own kids. I am sure they would’ve debated about school, vacations & all other aspects. But I am not aware of those.

I hope when I look back after 10 years or 20 years, this will serve me and kids. When I face a challenge, it will encourage me with the path I have already crossed; and for kids, the path laid to them by their parents & extended family.

Joy & I lived for most of our childhood in the same house. But that is not going to be the case for Piyo & Jerry. Hopefully these narrations will help them relate to their childhood.

One question that might popup after reading the previous entry is, if I enjoy the current engagement do much why do I want to change? It doesn’t make much sense to move out of what one is happy about.

Though I have been able to spend lot of quality time with kids and Rani, I have not spent anytime for myself – both professionally and personally. I have not jogged, gone for swimming or attended any professional training. I also don’t have a company to discuss intellectually.

Secondly, because of many ad hoc meetings during weekends, we have not gone out if Delhi much. Only once we ventured out and it was to Jaipur. Rani has been wanting to visit Taj but we have not been able to do it. You may not believe, but we planned three times and we had cancel at the last minute.

Lastly the swinging weather. It’s on the extremes during winter as well as summer. At least the winter is bearable with multi-layer clothing. But what do you do when it’s 46 degrees and a sucking heat wave hits your face as soon as you step out of home? It has been the worst this year.

Now that Piyo is quickly touching the school-going age, I want to go to a place where his studies can be un-disturbed, I don’t see a longer stay in Delhi.

Aren’t these reasons strong enough to move out?

Time just flies may be a cliche but it’s also the truth. There were quite a lot of risks I took in coming to Delhi – I didn’t know the language, I was leaving the security of a corporate job & moving to be an independent contractor, and most of all getting into government consulting, which in India is sickened with red tapes and pedantic bureaucratic processes. Yet I took it.

These years have been awesome in my life. On personal side, got two amazing kids; and on professional side got to work with some of the brightest minds in India. Importantly I played whatever role I could play in aiding corporate growth & governance in India. Never dreamt of it. (I also realised Rani has more faith in me than I).

But after 3.5 years I am wondering if it’s time to change. Unlike earlier times, where I would feel distinctly about the impending change, this time I don’t feel anything about change. But I contemplate change – whether it’s induced by anxiety or familiarity, I don’t know.

Since I am not sure if the change, I also don’t know if I should go back to Bangalore or stay in Delhi, but look for a different engagement. I pray that in the next 6 months, I will have bit more clarity.

I reached at about 2 in the night. Today morning played with Piyo & Jerry. What a relief from the tough week in Delhi.

When kids are around, the noise and the constant disturbance can at times annoy you. But when they are not at home to welcome you when you return from a long day, you will surely feel lonely and the same home would look like a haunted place.

Now that all of my three kids are in Bangalore, I couldn’t stay away from them for long. So within two weeks I decided to visit them. But things aren’t going well.

I am flying by Spicejet as always I do, as they are known to fly on time. Not this time. They are awfully late, my flight will now leave at 10.10 pm instead of its scheduled time of 8.40 pm. This means I will reach there well past midnight. Delhi’s roasting weather has already gifted me mouth ulcer. Now with this disturbed sleep, it’s only going to aggravate further.

Since DJ isn’t all that well, Mady can’t come to pick me up. I thought a cab driver, who knows the way, could be arranged. It appears, I need to take a cab from the airport, which will be the first time I do so in Bangalore.

I was also informed that Piyo had a small accident – his hand got stuck between the steel irons of the lift. Thankfully Rani acted wisely and gently removed his hands without any damage.

I hope to spend a relaxing & cooling weekend with kids. Will see.

Yes you read it correctly – three kids. Look again on the photo

Now that Rani & boys are in Bng, I find days are long and drag. I’m still working long hours.

Piyo has started going to play school from yesterday. To my pleasant disappointment, he is happily staying in Bangalore with his mom & brother in his aunt’s house. Apparently he didn’t cry much, which is a good news. He cries only when he sees his Thatha or Amma. Otherwise he seem to enjoy.

Back in Delhi, loneliness welcomes me everyday. I miss all of them, can’t really say who I miss the most. But I console myself, “all for piyo’s well-being.”