Someone quipped, “Life has to be understood backwards; but lived forwards”. But seriously speaking, at any given situation, how do we decide one way or the other? There are times at which, life just takes you on a roller coaster and the choices given to you are either, yes/yes or no/no. If so, you just make up your mind to make the best of the outcomes. On the contrary, if there is an option of making a choice, how to go about? Especially if the matter at discussion is important to you and family and others are involved?
Two years back, when I returned back from Belgium I had to choose either to stay in Chennai or move to Bangalore. I chose to stay with my sister and in an ironic twist she left to Bangalore. I’ve not regretted the decision, though. This year, with its goodness, puts me in crossroads often. Last time, I gave such serious thought was to quit the firm I’ve been with for seven long years. It was difficult emotionally, yet there were lots of positive factors that constituted the decision that I made. I am into a crossroad again. Lots of discussion is going on between sister, parents and me. The trouble this time is both options seem equally good and equally bad. None of us could make our mind into either way. Hopefully soon, we will arrive at a conclusive decision.

On Thursday, after training, I went to my BIL’s house and picked up sister and BIL. We had a dilemma about the gift for the bride and groom. Our choices came down to either a gold coin from Khazana or a lady & a gentleman watch. Eventually, my fondness with watches prevailed. We dropped by a near-by Titan showroom and bought the same. In addition, we got two more watches – my gift to sister for her upcoming birthday and another gift for neighbor’s daughter whose birthday is on Friday.

After shopping, we left to ‘Hotel Park View’, where groom’s family was staying. After the usual ‘making fun of groom’ (it is a love marriage), we left for engagement. It was a simple function. Then I left to office and quickly finished up whatever needed to be finished. I came back to the hotel and picked the gang and came back home.

Friday was the big day. The wedding was at the Church of Christ the king, Loyola College. It is a pretty old church, built on 1930. For the riches bestowed on the groom (his dad is a retired captain and he is a first officer in a Hong Kong based shipping agency), the wedding & reception was a simple one.

Only when there are loved ones at home, there is life there. It is always a fun to have my sister around (with BIL, it only doubles). One greatest advantage for me is that she cleans the whole house. They all left on Saturday.

Even today, I’ve been busy until noon. I’ve been helping a friend of my sister with house searching and so on. Hope in the evening, I get some rest and ready for the week ahead.

When we leave college or when we move jobs we always say, ‘Keep in touch’. For a period of time, communication happens religiously. But then, we all get occupied with situational urgencies and communication to ‘old friends’ takes a back seat. Then suddenly we decide, ok, let us ‘get this thing started’. Usually ‘old friends’ are happy to hear from you. But then, there is invariably a guy (or a gal) who hits back.

When Vikram, a college mate, decided to come out of hibernation, David, another college mate, shot back. When I read what David sent, I told myself, it could be true to you! But then, Vikram has not lost his humor still. I thought I’d share these two mails:

David’s response to Vikram’s initial mail:

Dai vennai….

If you do disappearing act every 6 month… do you expect us to do FBI work….We are all busy macchi.

I am happy that at least now you have decided to reappear with an announcement. Hope that you will stay the same for a longer time. If you want to know the happy news of your friends please follow the following steps.

1. Disclose where you are with location & phone number.
2. Try to meet your friends who are around you.
3. Make an international call to me and say a hello.
4. Don’t try to create a sympathy wave for you saying that we forgot you….. Mavane nee yen kayilla matuna sethada…

Here comes what Vikram has to say:

Dear all… we have always known David to be this kind of a person. We have known him from the time, He thought he could play football, to the time he thought that he could act on stage, to the time he thought he could play the drums…. But I always thought that marriage would make him a better person… But as sadly as its the truth… THE STUPID FELLOW HAS NOT CHANGEEEEEDDDDD!!!!

I’m just back from a scheduled minor surgery. These are the times, when physically weak and being alone, demands a good deal of mental energy to keep it going. I guess I have that within me now. I’m gonna rest for the rest of the day.

Since I returned to India until few months back, I wouldn’t sleep well. But since March, I get deep sleep and I sleep long as well. But last night was different. For some reason, I didn’t get a proper sleep. There was something disturbing me through the night. Don’t know what. Hope my day goes on well.

I strongly believe that all of us are born with certain strengths, may not be the ones that we would want to have. As a corollary, we are also born with weaknesses. It is this combination that makes all of us unique. Unfortunately, our corporate world tries to treat us as if we are all the same, like those mass-produced products that are in the market. I’ve been in few companies and I’ve not seen a firm which makes best use of their employees’ strength. Rather there are plenty of training, to shape all of us to be a part of a larger herd.

I came across a book, ‘Now, Discover Your Strengths’ by Marcus Buckingham & Donald O. Clifton. It is an interesting read. It provides 34 areas (a.k.a themes) of human strength. The book makes a strong case for focusing on our strengths and tells us how to manage around our weaknesses. Though the jargons might differ, I presume, most of us would know what we are good at. It tries to enlighten what you already know. What would’ve made this book useful is how to put those strengths into use.

There is an online questionnaire associated with this book. There are 180 questions and once it is taken, it lists one’s top 5 strengths. Listed below are mine. As I said earlier, it lists, in a nice jargon, whatever I know. Yet it is interesting to confirm from such a source. I’ve edited the results for web view.

Learner: You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. The process, more than the content or the result, is especially exciting for you. It enables you to thrive in dynamic work environments where you are asked to take on short project assignments and are expected to learn a lot about the new subject matter in a short period of time and then move on to the next one. This Learner theme does not necessarily mean that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that accompanies a professional or academic credential.

Intellection: You like to think. You like exercising the “muscles” of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions. This need for mental activity may be focused; for example, you may be trying to solve a problem or develop an idea or understand another person’s feelings. On the other hand, this mental activity may very well lack focus. You are the kind of person who enjoys your time alone because it is your time for musing and reflection. You are introspective. In a sense you are your own best companion, as you pose yourself questions and try out answers on yourself to see how they sound. This introspection may lead you to a slight sense of discontent as you compare what you are actually doing with all the thoughts and ideas that your mind conceives. Or this introspection may tend toward more pragmatic matters such as the events of the day or a conversation that you plan to have later. Wherever it leads you, this mental hum is one of the constants of your life.

Maximizer: Excellence, not average, is your measure. Transforming something strong into something superb takes just as much effort but is much more thrilling. Strengths, whether yours or someone else’s, fascinate you. Like a diver after pearls, you search them out, watching for the telltale signs of a strength. Having found a strength, you feel compelled to nurture it, refine it, and stretch it toward excellence. You polish the pearl until it shines. You choose to spend time with people who appreciate your particular strengths. Likewise, you are attracted to others who seem to have found and cultivated their own strengths. You tend to avoid those who want to fix you and make you well rounded. Rather, you want to capitalize on the gifts with which you are blessed. It’s more fun. It’s more productive. And, counter intuitively, it is more demanding.

Input: You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information-words, facts, books, and quotations-or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts.

Arranger: When faced with a complex situation involving many factors, you enjoy managing all of the variables, aligning and realigning them until you are sure you have arranged them in the most productive configuration possible. Others will ask. “How can you stay so flexible, so willing to shelve well-laid plans in favor of some brand-new configuration that has just occurred to you?” You are a shining example of effective flexibility, whether you are changing travel schedules at the last minute because a better fare has popped up or mulling over just the right combination of people and resources to accomplish a new project. Of course, you are at your best in dynamic situations. Confronted with the unexpected, some complain that plans devised with such care cannot be changed, while others take refuge in the existing rules or procedures. You don’t do either. Instead, you jump into the confusion, devising new options, hunting for new paths of least resistance, and figuring out new partnerships-because, after all, there might just be a better way.

Do dreams convey a meaning? I don’t mean those day-dreaming (which I do a lot); I mean those that occur during sleep. Many a people have shared with me, instances where events were foretold in dreams. I didn’t give careful thought to dreams until recently. I discussed with my mother, when she was here with me last month, and she had many examples to cite from her life. That got me interested. I tried recollecting any dream that I could remember and I could recollect only one that occurred during 3rd year of college, which remains so fresh. Guess it was a warning for the life to follow!

In that dream, a snake chased me and I kept running. After a while, I said to myself, “I am not going to run, but going to stand up to the snake”. I could sense a dilemma (still in the dream), “What if the snake bites?” Yet, deciding against the doubt, I stopped running, turned back and stood firmly facing the snake. To my surprise, the snake stopped chasing and stood at a distance.

I shared this dream with a senior and he interpreted it as, there are going to be troubles chasing you. As long as you run, they are going to keep chasing. Stop and face them, you’ll be able to handle. (Note that the snake didn’t disappear).

As I look back, it has been true. Ever since the dream, I had a roller-coaster life. I was able to stand up, face and effectively handle whatever life threw at me, except one incident. In that particular incident, my whole family was pulled in and that brought a huge pressure on me and I, instead of fight, chose flight as a way of handling. It turned unpleasant and left a scar in us. Till today, I feel guilty (and sometimes made to feel so by others) of not being a ‘good son’. Somehow all corrective actions have been futile.

Coming back to the topic, I decided to note down dreams that come along and observe them. I want to read, ‘The Interpretation of Dreams‘ by Sigmund Freud to find out what those dreams mean. But I am not so sure I’ll be able to do read it, as few priority items have crept in suddenly. If there are any interesting dreams, I may even post them here!

On Monday, my sister flew in to Chennai to train her colleagues in some IBM portal stuff. It was chaotic from the beginning. Training venue was not decided on Monday. And yesterday, when she finally gets to the spot, there were other amusing notes waiting for her – there was no A/C (it is practically not possible to sit and listen in this hot summer), the folks who had turned up were all more experienced, meaning they were looking for an advanced course and not the beginner’s course. After such comedy-of-errors, the training was cancelled. I went to see her in ‘The Park’, where she was staying. Wow! what a hotel! Its interiors are very modern. Anyway, we laughed over her trip tasting burgers and cocktails. Then I dropped her in the airport.

It amazes me, how unplanned all of these IT companies are, who claim to have best of the industry practices.