After feeding me with prawns and fish and helped me put on some weight, my parents are back to their home. Even my neighbors have gone to Coimbatore, looking for a college seat for their daughter. That leaves me all alone enjoying the evening sea breeze. Not exactly, I am not that lonely. My mom & neighbors had fed a street cat and it comes looking for food. Poor cat! What can it expect from me? I threw her few bread slices and she had no other food and had to eat ‘the-single-man’s-food’.

On Friday, I was supposed to meet few ex-colleagues and then go to a wedding reception. As I was taking a right-turn near Spencer’s plaza, a lorry (truck) scratched through the left door. Damn! Not on the same door. I just got it rectified. I was angry – it was the truck driver’s mistake and he went on yelling at me; I was disappointed – I was eagerly anticipating meeting those old folks and with this incident, I cannot. In total, I was pissed off. We had to pull off and wait for the police to arrive. After an initial investigation, I’d to go to D6, Anna Square police station and file a complaint to get a FIR.

By the time everything got over, a whole 3 hours had passed by. It amazes me how the police get the bribe, they never ask for it directly. (Unlike in many other countries, here in India, we have to bribe to get them do their job – as correctly mentioned in one Tamil movie). They request ‘donations’ to the police station to get chairs! Though it appalled me, I was not in a mood for any discussions. I just threw the money and got away. I played soft music and headed for a quiet place.

I didn’t give much thought to astrology until recently. When I read ‘Sun Signs’ by Linda Goodman, I was surprised that her words about Taurians were matching my personality to a large extent – except for one or two, all her descriptions, which went on for couple of pages, were true, including what I like to read – history and philosophy. That is when I got interested in astrology.

Thereafter I did a casual read of astrology predictions whenever I came across them, just with curiosity. Almost always, I forgot them once I kept the magazine down. However in the beginning of this year, I read about this year’s predictions and was discussing with a, then, colleague. For me it said, I would be interested in spiritual matters. Interpreting that as becoming religious, I was laughing with her, because it seemed a distant interest; though I’ve read almost all the known spiritual gurus from Jesus to Osho, I was not pursuing spiritual matters with any particular concern. Another one of prediction was that I’d have a whole new set of friends – that coincided with my decision to make new friends. For her, the stars dictated, a romance of her friend’s envy!

With just fifth month, almost, getting over, I am simply amazed how those predictions have come true. Indeed, I’m making new friends and believe me, I’m meditating on spiritual matters, more and more everyday. Hang on, I am not becoming any religious – not going to regular mass or temple service. However, I’m pondering over ‘deeper’ things of life! It may have to do something with those repeated failures that I went through in the past couple of years; yet this change didn’t happen in previous years! Every time, I make a new contact or absorbed deep in meditation, I realize that the stars said it so for this year.

And for her? It is true too. She is happily married to her long time lover and having a well-settled life.

I guess my life is going in circles. I don’t know if it happens in others life too. Today I met my PD (project director) and she said that they are looking into placing me as an offshore manager for a production support project. I couldn’t control my mind going back. Not only at job, but even at personal life, my life seems to repeat itself. Ok, it is not exactly a replica, but when I’m in a situation, I could say sometimes, “Hey, I’ve been here before!”.

The first two years when I went to Belgium was terrible in my personal life, but great in my official life. Then I made adjustments in my life and I had a life beyond my wildest dreams. I enjoyed it so much, that when I had to come back to India, I felt I’ve lost my love. Then in India, as regular blog readers would’ve known, I had to keep pushing the firm to get me into a project. After dragging for long, finally they got me into a production support project.

The initial years in India were not that great. Like earlier, I have lost my love and keep thinking of that. Now I try to adjust. I got into a new firm almost two months before. I’m yet to be given a project and if I get one, it is going to be a production support one. On the other hand, like before, keeping the sad moments to myself, I am learning to enjoy life. I just hope I don’t make the mistakes that I made in the earlier round!

Today HSS (higher secondary school) results are out. For those readers/friends who don’t know about the Indian educational system, it is the course before going to college. Parents have been anxious of the results as much as the kids. As probably known throughout the globe, parents want their kids to go to either Engineering or Medical college. In their mind there is no other option. It is understandable until few years back when choices were limited, but even now, people doesn’t think beyond these borders. If their kid doesn’t get into any one of these streams, it is assumed that the kid’s future is questionable.

Anyway, since my parents are with me, we kept discussing how it was when I passed out. Both my parents and I expected a higher score and when I got what I got, we were shocked. It was way below our expectation. I was not only shocked, but so scared of my dad. Surprisingly my dad didn’t even say a word. That saved me from being punished but still I was highly disappointed at myself. That was one of the earliest disappointment which kick started the series of disappointments to come later in my life.

You get into your foreign-make car, roll up the windows, switch on the AC, drive fast through the maddening traffic, in-between high-rise buildings, stop at a gas station, park your car, enjoy a pizza in one of the outlets and you start to exclaim the pace at which your country is developing. And you feel proud of being part of that development.

Then you do something stupid like visiting a museum. Ha, now that brings you back to an age where time stands still. It is when you realize the other side of India, a real one – so chaotic, unorganized, frustrating, nothing-working part of this great country.

To beat the monotony of my paren’s days, I decided to take them to B.M. Birla planetarium on Saturday. The planetarium and a near-by science and technology park occupy a huge space. The ratio of the space occupied to the usefulness is awfully low.

First we went to the science and technology museum. First of all, there was no proper lighting. And then some of the galleries had disappeared. Even in the rest of the galleries, nothing was in working condition. The very thought of how government could swindle and waste public money can irritate and spoil your otherwise quality time that you decided to have with your parents. But then that is real India!

Don’t get upset so quickly boy! Around 15h00, a shabbily dressed man and his team came on the dais in the main hall. They showed some wonderful science experiments and explained the logic behind them. If only these experiments were shown in every school, every kid will aspire to be a Kalam, the man behind India’s success in Rocket science and now heading the country.

Then there was a 3-D show. If the chairs were relatively moving with respect to what was shown on the screen, it would’ve been a fascinating show. Yet, a trip down to the shark island (the theme of the 3-D movie) was entertaining.

Finally a short documentary on Mars. My dad and I expected a more elaborate show, not a show with mundane information. However, my mom liked it. So it was a bargain.

In short, more is expected in a country where science and technology is on the fast track.

One thing I’ve learnt being in the cosmic drama for little over three decades is that one can never predict ‘what is in store’. The unchanging principle of life is, ‘This too shall pass’, stated otherwise, ‘Change is lurking around the corner’. For the past 7 years or so, I’ve been through many changes – half of them pleasant, which were the planned changes and the other half, as could be guessed, were heart-breaking. I had to go through changes personally and officially and sometime together. They are periods of confusion, anxiety and mixture of all turbulent emotions.

However, I’ve also come to appreciate the cosmic script, in that, there is always a melody waiting to be sung as you play along. True, the old memories visit you and make you nostalgic; but if you fix your eyes on the future and enjoy the present, it is a good play, if not an exciting one. By the time one gets accustomed to the present scene, it changes. Change, change, change is all left in life. Play with it to enjoy, believing that the script will be a fair one as the story unveils. Gains may not be exact compensation for the losses. Nevertheless, on an overall scale, the script tends to be fair. Well, I did come across a very good article yesterday about change. I could place myself through the stages that are specified in the article. I also remembered a ramble of mine:

Changes are inevitable
Some builds you
Some breaks you
None passes you
Without favouring you
For one shapes you
Another sharpens you
In all, changes change you

So if you are going through a pleasant one, enjoy it fully as it becomes a status quo; if it is an unpleasant one, keep your chin and know that, ‘This too shall pass’.

Only a master storyteller like Steven Spielberg can pick up a simple concept like getting stuck in an airport and weave it in such a fascinating manner. Credit should be given to acting genius Tom Hanks and the rest of the crew too, who keep you entertaining throughout the movie. Comedy, romance, thrill and all that forms a good entertainment are mixed appropriately to give a relaxed evening. Of course there are few threads, which are beyond reasoning, like raising a fountain in the airport. But hey, you are watching a Hollywood movie, not a Discovery channel documentary!

I accept that the movie came long back, even to India. But then as in everything else in life, I am bit late.

After Geetanjali, it was time for another classic by Tagore – Stray Birds. Even in this classic, I’m amazed by his simple words coming out with profound truths. This is not a review of the composition, rather my admiration of it. Below are some of the ‘birds’ that I enjoyed:

• IF you shed tears when you miss the sun, you also miss the stars.
• THE bird wishes it were a cloud. The cloud wishes it were a bird.
• THE sparrow is sorry for the peacock at the burden of its tail.
• TAKE my wine in my own cup, friend. It loses its wreath of foam when poured into that of others.
• WRONG cannot afford defeat but Right can.
• WE read the world wrong and say that it deceives us.
• EVERY child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.
• HE who wants to do good knocks at the gate; he who loves finds the gate open.
• LIFE has become richer by the love that has been lost.
• THOSE who have everything but thee, my God, laugh at those who have nothing but thyself.
• THE little flower lies in the dust. It sought the path of the butterfly.
• LET the dead have the immortality of fame, but the living the immortality of love.
• I SHALL die again and again to know that life is inexhaustible.
• LET me live truly, my Lord, so that death to me become true.
• LET this be my last word, that I trust in thy love.