Probably I used all the positive spirit in keeping me up over the weekend through the snow. I had two choices: either stay at room, get drunk and get depressed or put on 6 layers of clothing and get out and do something even if it meant freezing. I did choose the second one and I guess I did pretty good job at that.

When I went to the US, there was a group of folks along with me. When I went to Belgium, Steven helped me in the beginning giving company to some extent. But here I don

I am bit concerned about the assignment that I have come for. I know I have done well until now. I do have confidence that I will do my best. But this is the second largest client for our firm; and this project is a high visibility project for the firm too. I was talking to my friend Xavier and as he rightly put it, If I do well, I will be rock star; If I f…k up, I will be fired. What am I going to be?

As I said, I did talk to Xavier, for whose son, I’m the godfather. We did chat for a while. With two kids and new job, Xavier has become busy. But we are planning to meet sometime in this two months. Since it will be difficult for me to travel to the US, he might travel to Canada. We might meet under the cold showers of Niagara! I am looking forward to see Xavier and Vikas, my godson.

The day went with so much of uncertainty

After four days in CBE, today morning I came back to Bng. I got back all the energy after I sat in front of my first-love (control your thoughts – I mean the laptop).

As in every vacation time, I prefer not to be disturbed by office calls. In my opinion, if a manager does his job well during regular days and also if the transition is done properly, then there should be no need for being disturbed during vacation time. Sure it can also mean that you are not that needed (which is what I proclaim – no one is indispensable).

But that is theory. In practice, it almost never happens. There is some landmine which you missed proving the Murphy

It is time to review our work and set future goals. This year has been simply superb in terms of job. Understanding boss, encouraging peers, co-operative teams, recognition for hard-work, appreciative clients! Can’t ask for more.

When I sat along with my boss for review, his feedback was simple: ‘I’m satisfied’. He said:

• You take tough decisions
• You don’t fear talking to senior management and you add value to the system
• You’re no non-sense person. Your feedbacks are candid and honest. Also if someone needs to be fired, you don’t pass the decision to someone else. (In fact I am the only person to have fired in the department. No other manager wants to do it. I am not proud of it. But I am convinced that is part of the job)

Then I asked him the areas for improvement. His answer was immediate, but I cannot believe what he said. He hit it exactly.

• You want to do everything and don’t evaluate if you could do it.
• You don’t pause to ask for help. We all need help from time to time.

Those two are exactly to the point. Even in my personal life, I don’t stop to evaluate. I given in to family pressure or similar and then later regret doing whatever it is. Also I usually think it is a sign of weakness to ask for help. (Sometimes I did stretch my hands for help; but either I was humiliated or didn’t get help). Hopefully in the coming year I will be able to improve on these areas.

Talking about the responsibilities for next year, whatever we discussed is scary. He wants me to take much higher responsibility than what I’m handling. Let me see how it all goes.

Also there are going to be changes in the team. There is only one resource that I move along well. She will be leaving in the beginning of the year. She is highly dependable and fun to work with. I will definitely miss her. On the side note, that is life. If you would’ve read through my blog, you would know that I took so much effort to come out of my introvert nature to make friends. But as I keep making friends, they keep moving out. It hurts.

Personally I don’t have a good feeling about next year. Whenever I think about my life, my energy drains out. I hope it is not all bad but I have some good time to enjoy and remember fondly.