Whenever Justinne played, it was the case of ‘David vs Goliath’; it doesn’t matter against whom. She had the will to overpower any opponent. Despite the troublesome personal life, she managed to be #1. Yet, she was humble, just the opposite of the elephantine Williams sisters.

Rocked by personal troubles, she retired.

Inspired by come back of another Belgian beauty, Kim, and her victory, Justinne has announced that she will come out of her retirement.

Soon there might be another Belgian-only finals. Looking forward to watch tennis again.

By 2:15, I was a father of a beautiful boy!

It has been anxious 11 days since Rani was admitted. She has been so confident & displayed amazingly calm spirit. I haven’t yet spoken to her. But am sure she is fine and will recover well.

This is the day I’m relieved of pains of yesterday and I’m stepping into the glories of tomorrow.

I’m grateful to many who stood by me through the toughest battle that I’ve been. I gratefully remember them.

Just now (few min past mid-nite) got a message from Rani’s parents that she started to have contractions.

I wish I was with Rani now. I can’t sleep. I’m so concerned for the safety of her & the baby, that after more than a decade I knelt and prayed. So much has been my (& my family’s) emotional turmoil in recent years that I want this to go well.

But deep down in my heart I have such calmness & confidence that now starts our tomorrow.

Is it a sign of getting old? Or is it a natural pogression of an expectant father?

As most of you know, I enjoy the taste of cultural foods, smell of new land, pleasure of intellectual discussions; or to state it simply, I possess a wandering spirit and I greatly enjoy it. I fantasied travelling to every continent; visiting northern light in Artic; flying above Antartic (btw, between my sister & I, we’ve already visited 4 continents).

I continued to believe that I’ll save enough money and do travelling as I fantasied. It wasn’t a question of ‘if’ but ‘when’.

‘Change is the only constant’, goes the cliche. I just didn’t realise the truth in it.

‘You want to leave the world just a bit better place’, is how my friend Xavier put it when he described his feeling of being a father. I’m surprised that my feelings, thoughts and wants are no more about travelling the world, but to provide a better place for Rani and the kid(s). If it means me working a little longer or travel in a metro crowd standing for 2 hours, so be it. My thoughts revolve around, buying a house with a lawn for the kid to play or a flat where they can socialise and on and on.

Probably the elders were wise afterall – in Tamil (culture) they used to say of uncontrolled youths – ‘get him married; he will be controlled’.

Twyla Tharp, author of a splendid book called ‘Creative Habit’, attributes part of her unique style of creativity to her parents. She claims that when her parents decided a unique name for her, they fortold to the world of arrival of a unique person. She says that she tried to live upto her name.

I believe her. I’ve gotten two best examples from my own family.

My mom, named after the great Indian warrior – Johnsi – possesses an amazing fighting spirit. Despite all the negative turn of events in her life, she survived by displaying a calm fighting spirit. She would never go for a verbal or other fights; but she has displayed an undefeatable spirit at every challenging predicaments in her life.

Second example is my own. Not sure if my parents knew of the significance of the name Joseph. As per Bible, Joseph was separated from his family at an young age; suffered lonliness & blamed for no fault of his; but eventually acquitted and stood before kings. I didn’t undergo a prison term as his, but equally horrifying & humiliating was the time between 1999 – 2003. Did I stand in front of kings? Well if I could interpret little differently, I’ve stood in front of chief executives, ministers and other powerful persons. I’m still not at a pinnacle as that of Biblical Joseph, but am sure I’ll.

But recently I read ‘Freaknomics’, where the author claims that such naming excercises don’t have a bearing on the future of the child.

Ignoring the scientific study of the economist, I believe that we should name the child appropriately.

In my short stint at Hexaware, I met a girl whose last name was rather interesting and unique. When I enquired further she said that the name was a derivative of her mom’s as well as dad’s names. Though its against the practice of well established social rules, I believe its only fair to include mother’s name in child’s name. After all, she bears all the pain. What right does a man have to force his legacy to continue by naming the child after him alone? So I decided, long back, that child’s name will proudly declare his mother’s name. (by now I have come to believe its a boy).

Rani has said that since ours is a JJ family (all our names start with J), child’s name should start with J too.

With all this in mind, I’ve arrived at few names. Once the baby is safely out, I’ll discuss with Rani & finalize one.

In any case, two things are sure: the name will have a meaning to us (of the path we’ve come & of the path we anticipate) & secondly it will carry mother’s name.

Rani called me in the evening. Usually she talks enthusiastically, but today she talked dull. Can’t blame her, for a week she is in ICU without knowing when she will be out of there; her parents and sister is not allowed to enter into ICU; she gets about 5-10 min to talk to people including me. Add to it, an injection daily & continous drips. Who won’t be dull in this situation?

Her dad isn’t strong enough; he cries every time she is wheeled to be scanned. Her mom is helpful and stays in the hospital most of the time.

I called up my friend to find out if his dad can find out the reason for keeping Rani in the ICU for a week and also how long will it be. I can’t disturb them too much too.

 I just hope all of us will find enough strength, in various levels and capacity, to get through this situation.

In financial matters my mantra has been, ‘do u need it?’ and if so ‘whats it worth?’. With a single income & fast rising cost, I believe such prudence is essential.

But there are always ‘exceptions’ and they need to be recognized and dealt with accordingly, like the current situation of Rani being admitted in the hospital.

I’m upset that docs aren’t forth-coming with the delivery date (or Rani’s parents aren’t requesting for it). Every day docs take scan & seems to say lets wait for one more day.

For the safety & comfort of both (baby & Rani), I’m ready to spend a lakh if its needed, but not for the incompetence of the docs. And knowing how long she needs to be in hospital will help us to mobilize the needed money too.

I’m uncomfortable spending money without knowing the limit. Sitting far away and a situation like this do I even have a choice?

As in all walks of life, even in hospitals transparency isn’t a virtue in India.

The kid is playing hide & seek. Now I’m convinced its going to be a gal 🙂

The concern is, the due date according to gyn in Delhi, whom we consulted till August is Oct 6 (the latest dt shuld be 6th), but the gyn in Coimbatore gave Nov as due date. So our concern is will the baby be pre-mature?

As each day passes, I understand that its good for the baby. But it only raises our anxiety & dilemma. She staying in Coimbatore & me being in Delhi doesn’t help.

This being a holiday season, availabilty of flight tickets is tight as well (there isn’t a direct flight from delhi to cbe). So even if the baby is born tomorrow, I’m not sure if I wuld be able to go there quickly.

Its been more than 6 years since I started this blog. There are still few close friends who frequently visit this blog. This also serves as a cronicle. So I enjoy posting and sometime I read my earlier posts with nostalgia. So I want to continue with this blog even I drop all other blogging (LA says she has abt 10 bookmarks of my blogs).

But with various activities of life (of being independent consultant, an expectant father, getting adjusted to a new city and so on) demanding a slice of a never increasing time-available-per-day pie, its becoming difficult to log and post every entry. One way out is to use posting-via-email. But for that I need to run cron jobs and the current host doesn’t allow it. So is the reason for migration. In fact this post is via email. I’ve setup a cron to check for mail every 5 hrs. I may not post every 5 hrs (may not be even every day). But this setup gives me an opportunity to utilize my commute time to post via email.

Docs are planning for a normal delivery so they’ve kept Rani in the hospital. Surprisingly Rani is confident and she sounded so well and upbeat (surprising since she is in the hospital since Saturday nite and she has been in & out of icu & labor wards).

I’m concerned for both – baby & her. I’m sure with well wishes & prayers of everyone all will be fine. The anxiety thats in me is not of worry but coz of the joy for the first, especially the baby.

Docs said it wuld be yesterday; now they say it wuld be today. Am waiting.